Sunday, August 16, 2009

on... blow jobs

further to my post on watching too much porn which by the way I think applies mostly to my very young clients as my older clients often don't or can't get away with watching porn.. I have had the discussion on what I consider the more vulgar porn with a colleague of mine in the porn industry. She really really likes to be used as a cum vessel for lack of a better term. She is like a few other girls I have met in the industry who only feel pretty when used as a vessel in this way. In their normal lives they feel unattractive. 2 or 3 that I think of.. are into BDSM, piercing.. tons of tattoos and 1 for sure is also into cutting (self mutilation).

I think she's adorable and she's also got a wonderful generous personality. But she claims she only feels beautiful doing porn. I haven't asked her if that's the same for her whether the camera is on or off come to think of it. Does she feel beautiful just having sex with her boyfriend? I know for myself when I first saw myself on film I didn't like it at all.. but now I love it.. and I also love having my mirrors in my bedroom so I can watch when I'm in doggie position. If I can see a man's ass in the mirror when we're in other positions humping away I'm also in heaven... so I can relate to the feeling beautiful that way. However we differ in that I also feel beautiful in everyday clothes.. most of the time... certainly I have my bad hair days or what not like any other person.. but I've learned that beauty comes from confidence and acceptance.. and more than anything else it's that if you look at others with hospitality and acceptance you reflect beauty to them and then they see it in you! Most of them however don't realize that's what's going on.

So.. these girls love to give head.. but more than that.. they love being throat fucked.. tied up, gagged and whipped. I can only relate to that a wee bit.. I like a mild spanking on my ass for sure when in the throws but not welts. I like to have my hair pulled or my throat held but only in rare situations when the chemistry is really high. Plus I can't throat fuck as much as I would like to try it.. my gag-reflex is way too strong.

I have often wondered why people like bdsm and my theory is that they have an endorphin rush that is much greater than the average person. In my case I have fibromyalgia so the opposite is true. My pain level is greater than the average person so that on very bad days my skin can be so sensitive to touch and there's no endorphin trickle never mind a rush.. so I'm not a good candidate for bdsm. I can however act as a domme.. just not a sub.

but once again.. I digress.. and this is how I think.. I'm linear, circular and all over the place.. but I have a point.. several in fact :)

so I have mentioned my friend J who I went to the pool party of a few weeks ago. There are a lot of great stories about our antics some years ago in Tremblant and in Ottawa. She like a couple other friends of mine have what I would call a blowjob fetish... geeze if I had this fetish I could make way more money!!! She is however not an escort or interested in doing porn which sucks because she would be fantastic at either! Anyway.. she told me that this fetish was such that she basically couldn't say no if she were asked to give a blowjob... and here's how I used it to my benefit one time partying in Tremblant. oh.. btw she's a total domme. She's done way more in her personal life as a domme than I have as a pro. She may even have more strapons than me.

These other women I know who are blowjob addicts are completely different from the throatfucking vessel types in that they are completely in control and love the power they have over men when giving them a blowjob. I fall into that category but still need the physical barrier of a condom with a client to feel safe in that act.

so J and I were skiing and then hanging out at the bar on the hill in the afternoon. We were with a 3rd girlfriend on this occasion and met 2 younger guys that we flirted with and then brought back home that evening to J's chalet. After much playing around our 3rd friend took her guy downstairs by themselves and I went upstairs with my guy to the loft. After a few rounds with this young guy I was exhausted and only wanted to sleep.. but he wouldn't leave me alone.. so I told him to go down to the main floor and ask J for a blowjob.. tee hee... she couldn't refuse and he ended up keeping her up. I slept despite the fact that the noise traveled up to the loft like her door wasn't even closed. I still giggle when I think of how tired she looked that next morning but had a smirk on her face when she complained that I knew her cryptonite weakness :)

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