Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

I hesitate to put a percentage on which clients are good for whatever reasons.. simply because when you do that.. you create it. (watch the secret dumbasses who still haven't watched it if you don't know what I mean) In one way or another all clients are good. How are they good even when they're bad? They're a paying customer!!

The Bad.. how do I define bad? See the pussy chewers rant for starters (a favorite to make one of my girlfriends laugh). Unpleasant clients are ones who touch me in a way that's unpleasant. This could be that they have rough hands.. a rough face and don't see the problem with rubbing their 5 o'clock shadow into my tender soft skin. It could be a smoker who stinks like they've been in a bar full of smoke for 4 hrs marinating in it.. it could be a bad cologne that lingers in my room for a full 24 hrs afterward (note: No cologne is appropriate to wear for sex in my book.. None..but some are definitely just awful while others a delightful..just be cleanly washed) It can be a client who is too rough in bed.. a 'rutter' as one of my male friends describes it. I don't mind and often enjoy a thoroughly hard fucking but some guys get too excited and grab my hips so hard in doggie that they almost pinch my skin and bruise me as an example... thankfully usually those guys because they are so wound up.. at least cum fast. A really bad client is someone who can't get hard and can't cum. The much older clients can of course be like this.. but I rarely get them anymore.. I seem to cater more to the younger guys.. hey MILF porn has it's perks :p Plus a lot of girls won't see the younger guys.. and frankly I think they're missing out. Age is not a factor in my book.. but I do prefer younger/fitter guys if I have my choice. Most of my clients are under 50.

So I have one regular client I really don't enjoy seeing (we'll call him R).. but he pays and some days I'm in a more tolerant mood than others which is when I agree to see him. He's also under no illusions that I'm crazy about him but that doesn't deter him from enjoying himself :) The first time he tried to see me.. was about 8 years ago when I lived on Cambridge st. He showed up for his first appt with about 40 dollars less than my fee (it could have been more I don't recall)... claiming he'd just got a parking ticket or some excuse. This infuriates me because 90% of the time it's a lie and if it's remotely true.. you call me and cancel the appt with plenty of notice.. you don't just show up with less money and expect me to follow thru. I gave him a harsh lecture ( I was still on sugar back then) and told him to turn around as I was going to boot him in the ass on his way out.. and I did! (I don't normally do this but I must have also been enraged by something else he did.. and he does irritate me often with something stupid to this day)

He later phoned me over and over again to beg me to let him rebook and eventually I did. Many times over the years I've refused to see him and passed him on to one of my colleagues but I've mellowed.. and I've cut way down on advertising and now prefer a lower volume of clients so I keep most of my regulars even those I'd rather not see as often.

So.. why is he 'bad'? He's a very excitable guy.. and his hands move in a way that I would describe as fidgety.. he doesn't have any skill whatsoever in bed but wants to think that you are enjoying his endeavors. I don't.. but I do feel sorry for him. That's my main motivation to see him.. yeah yeah.. hooker with a heart of gold. No.. he pays. He will never ever again try to short me.

He also has this weird habit of patting my twat thru my clothes on the way in and sometimes on the way out and trying to kiss me even though he knows I don't kiss. He's strange but completely harmless.. just annoying.

The good.. the very very good. Thank god.. I have good sex with many of my clients.. Doubt I could do this job for this long if all my clients were annoying. Here's the funny thing.. some guys think they are the only guy I might see who is nice. This is the one timer.. not a regular.. he is the type who would 'never normally do this' so he thinks all my other clients are gross.

Then I have a few great clients I genuinely adore.. and get excited to see.. and they question my enjoyment of them.. yeah yeah.. you say that to all the guys. My response to that is.. can you see how wet I am right now??? They still aren't reassured.. or maybe they just have to hear it :)

Anyway.. what makes a client good? They are the ones I finish up with and after they leave I sit and bask in my glow.. and say to myself "I can't believe I just got paid for that!" yes.. some make me cum.. but that's not what makes it good. I can cum with an ugly client so long as he's reasonably good at licking. I have a good repertoire of fantasy scenarios in my head to help me along :)

The 'good' client is freshly or a reasonable fascimle of freshly clean. No skanky ball sweat odor.. etc etc.. he has a gentle but firm touch.. is very appreciative of my sensuality (has a huge hard on) and can fuck me in a way that is delicious.. You would think not that hard to do.. but fucking is like dancing.. Everyone has their own sense of style (or not) and you can't teach that to someone. You are either compatible as dancing partners or you're not!

A good client can be someone who finishes up early and is very satisfied.. time wise that's desirable.. but frankly some clients I enjoy and get disappointed if they come way too soon.. so it's a win even if they finish early. I mean who doesn't get excited when the teacher let you out of school a few minutes before the bell rang. It was decadent right? and you felt superior to the other kids still in their classrooms.

Speaking of which that's another reason I see another regular.. who pays me for a full hour but is always done in about 15 minutes.. he smells horrible.. he's a farmer and a heavy smoker. I've had him shower a few times but he just ends up smelling up my bathroom! He also has a laugh like a creepy hyena.. but a genuinely nice person and again.. it's the money factor (good pay) and feeling sorry for him combined with the quick appt factor.

Again.. I digress. Back to the good.

So yesterday.. good client. I've only seen him twice but fuck. he's hot. he was so turned on by me the first time he actually said 'marry me' in the middle of it.

Day before hot client outcall.. gorgeous.. done quickly (I was disappointed) but he was obviously overworked and didn't have the energy for a 2nd round. so.. good sex. quick call and home to bed early for me. Win win..

A couple of weeks ago.. I had this hot guy who was visiting from near Toronto for work.. hopefully he will be back but who the fuck knows.. yes.. sometimes like in these cases with newbies and with regulars.. I do go 'schwing!' He was able to make me squirt over and over for a good 20 minutes I think.. No idea how.. and again not that important to me.. but I kept thinking I wish we could have gotten this on camera because I don't normally do this! He had this way of fingering me in a way that didn't hurt and alternating it with licking me that well.. he played me like a violin. I have only had 2 other guys make me squirt and it was very uncomfortable.. they poked my g-spot to hard but they made me gush.. unpleasant for me. I soooo prefer to be fucked. and this guy did not disappoint in that dept either. Gorgeous cock and a good fuck.. fuck I hope he calls again on his next trip to Ottawa.. yummy.

Yesterday I also had my ex over.. we still see each other for sex about once/month as the sex was always good.. and we turn each other on in a big way. It's just not carryover to a relationship for me and I think for him it's fine too. The sex is very therapeutic for both of us. He does all the work.. I just get to lie back and enjoy.. and when someone is inside me that turns me on.. I could go on for hours. Sometimes we do! yes.. he also goes down on me.. but frankly that's more for his enjoyment than mine. I would rather he just stay inside me. Sure I like to be licked and to cum.. but nothing compares to that steady endorphin rush of being rubbed on the inside with a cock in just the right way.. and NO dildos do not work in the same way. It's actually mostly the grinding motion. How do I know that? I have a client who refuses to fuck me but loves to dildo me.. when he does it with a strap-on and cums in his condom where he's got his dick next to the strapon it's better. If he's just dildoing me it's less enjoyable. When a guy grinds his hard dick up against my leg or titfucks me.. it's the humping motion that I respond to and yes I can enjoy a titfuck.. obviously not as much as a vaginal fuck but hey.. it's the client's money.. to a point he can spend his money shot wherever he wants :p

Sexy bum boy.. one of my regular clients.. he is cute.. a sweet gentle lover and has an ass you can bounce a quarter off of.. he never goes down on me.. and that's okay but a bit disappointing.. but he makes up for it in the sensuality of the session.. I always look forward to seeing him. Shit.. getting hot just thinking about it.

Surfer boy.. he's been a regular of mine for about 8 years. Schwing! He's done a few videos with me in the beginning.. and if he wasn't married I have no doubt we'd be doing porn full time. He's got a super dirty mind and loves having the mirror in the room. He's well built.. always immaculately dressed and just a bit on the arrogant side that it turns me on.. then it's his tender side I love..he's soooo passionate.

Cabana Boy. He's also a regular client I've had for 8 years or so.. Why is he called Cabana Boy? Because in my hour long appt with him he always always always.. give me a massage! then he licks me (claims I trained him now when he sees other escorts) and eventually gives me a good hard fucking. He brings me presents on the anniversary of our first appt, my birthday, xmas and a housewarming gift every time I move.. which is frequently... and we have gotten to be very good friends in our appts. We can literally talk about anything as well as share a laugh easily. He's a client who believe it or not.. hadn't had sex in 12 years with his wife before booking me. I feel honoured when someone takes a ton of time in making their choice for a compatible escort and then chooses me.. there's no feeling like it. One of my male friends (non-client) likened me to a sexual priestess. Women who whose job was to basically heal thru sex and dammit.. I resonate with that. I know in my heart my job is one of a healing ministry if you will.. and it's really too bad it isn't revered in our culture except in our own micro-culture.

oh. almost forgot. The ugly. I've got a new hobby.. it's called face-in-hole I've been having a blast putting my face into holes along with a bunch of my friends on facebook. I have yet to do a faceinhole with golum but my client previously referred to as R isn't really ugly but his sort of irratic almost creeping clawing behaviour made me laugh the other day as I pictured golum's face on him. I'm sure he gleefully thought my smile was due to his romantic gestures on his body. R.. doesn't have internet so I'm not really worried about him reading this.. if anyone might think it mean of me to write about him. I mean he's completely harmless.. or I wouldn't see him.

here's golum on youtube (keep volume in mind) if you have no idea what I'm talking about.

SO.. what am I trying to say? Even when a client might be annoying, irritating, smelly or whatnot.. I find a way to have some sort of fun. If I can't have fun.. I use my 'heart of gold' to feel sorry for him. If I can't do either.. I refuse to see the client again.. I have done with R several times in the past.. but now I have become better at "making a silk purse out of a sow's ear" and I also relish my good clients in my mind with glee.. to make up for it. Thank god for the good clients!!!

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