Monday, January 31, 2011

guys wanting to get into porn

I can't help you! that's the basic answer.. but I get this question fairly regularly. Here's my response. I can barely get porn work for myself.. and most recently I can't get any work in porn for myself. First off.. I worked very hard to get myself into porn. I watched several documentaries.. here's 2 that I remember watching.

1) Private Parties. It's a Canadian program on the documentary channel but you should be able to get it online. They eventually contacted me after I was somewhat well known but I declined to be filmed. My private life is my private life :) I'll chose to write about what I want here. No cameras following me around.

2) Pornucopia. It's based in LA and is now running again on the movie network up here.. it's about 5 years old though.

then I went to AVN in 2007 for the first time. Talked to a variety of people..to get my feet wet. I still had no real concrete leads. It wasn't until the 2nd trip that I ended up following through to go to LA. As I already said in my blog on how I got into porn I tried to make movies in Canada and it was painfully slow and mostly unsuccessful to get any exposure.

Now here's the rub. If you're a guy.. it's literally 100 times tougher to get into the industry.. probably 1000 times.

If you want to get started now.. pretty much forget about just walking in and getting an audition. Prove yourself. I did.. I did the magazines. I did webcam shows on CamZ for my members site (I no longer have that as I prefer escorting to all the work involved in making constant fresh content for a member's site).

Here's what I suggest. Get a female partner. Note: This not a suggestion to invite me to be your partner. If I were to get involved with someone to shoot porn it would be someone romantically first and then porn 2nd if they were game for it.

If you are a couple interested in doing porn. Do webcam shows. Search online and see who's doing them. Do it for fun and some extra coin. The chances of you getting rich from doing porn are slim to none.

Here are friends of mine who are Canadian and doing this.. http://www.caseynjennifer.com
They are a hot couple and very down-to-earth. I'm only sorry we don't live close enough to one another but I hope to do some filming with them this upcoming summer.

Here is another clips store (good friends of mine) I've shot for.. and you might shoot for as well if you're in Toronto. tughunnies

Saturday, January 15, 2011

came for sex.. left with a plan

Every once in a while I get into a conversation that ends up being lifechanging for a client.. after the session. Small talk turns into a counselling session that either addresses an issue between them and their S.O. (wife/girlfriend) or family member. Or I address health concerns and direct them to a supplement/herb or homeopathic remedy.

Yesterday a client confessed to me that other than his S.O. who had stopped having sex with him but once/year I was the only other woman he'd been with. He was very enthusiastic during our session of course and thankfully didn't muddy the fun til afterward... what I mean by that.. is you can get depressed when you think about the reasons that brought you to someone like me if it's out of being left to yourself to satisfy your sexual needs.. or in his case not even being 'allowed' to self satisfy his sexual needs.

Selfish people piss me the fuck off... I hear of course more about selfish women then I do men in my career.. as they end up seeing me or someone like me. I mean if a woman is unwilling to look at through a therapist or from her doctor checking her hormones to find out why she lost her sex drive she has no business telling her partner who still has a healthy sex drive that his doesn't matter.

After quizzing him to find out if she'd exhausted all avenues (which she refused to do) I encouraged him to get counselling on his own and suggested some books that had made a huge impact in my life ('reinventing your life' for starters) and a course (landmark education) that made the biggest difference for me. I pointed out to him that if he made changes in his life causing happiness.. she would want what he wanted as we all deep down want to be happy.

Taking care of your own emotional and spiritual advancement is vitally important. Being selfish in this way is actually beneficial to others in your life so it's not really selfish is it?? It's you being the best you you can be and as you do that you will draw people to you who enhance your life and those who refuse to follow that path will fall away. Believe me.. it works.

The problem is people don't take the time to truly understand themselves and they don't take the time to work on their relationship with themselves.

Sex is one way of expressing myself and since I realized I have something men want.. I could sell my services. Many of my clients I'm sure are attracted to that 'mother earth' quality I have.. and that my friends is the true MILF experience.

Of course others have no care in the world for what I have to say.. and that's okay too. They are impacted by me in some small way through my SEXUAL care and nurtured by mother earth :)

ps. I had a previous client contact me after we had had a long talk about the landmark course and both he and his gf had attended... Good for them!

go here to check it out. If you go.. I highly recommend the advanced course.. after the 4 day intensive forum.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

tanning pics Jan 11

I'm using this mirror to take pics because I don't have a huge one like this at home. My camera doesn't take good pics without the flash unfortunately but my iphone does! the flash is a pain in the butt in a mirror to try and get around.. so here we go with some new pics. I got a cute royal purple lace top at Giant Tiger that I thought I'd showcase over my bra and panties.. sexy hey???





















my spiritual journey

Long fucking story.. so I'm just going to go back to how I got involved with conspiracy theory and politics for now within in the last 3 years.

I was involved with a guy in Toronto briefly in 2007 and believe it or not on our very first date we went for a drink and met friends of his visiting from Montreal. I met G and S with him at the hotel they were staying at and then he took me to a seminar G was giving the next day on off-shore banking.. which was of major interest to me!

S stayed in touch with me after F and I broke up as we had so much in common in spiritual,holistic and now obviously financial/political interests. I was however very reluctant to disclose what I did for a living with them and was pretty sure F hadn't disclosed it either. The initial business interests they had with F dissolved as well and they didn't keep in touch with him either.

Anyway.. I went to a few more seminars with F that other people were having and learned so much! I recall my journey started with a firemen friend of mine sending me a link on Zeitgeist ( see my previous blogs or just google it).

These seminars lead me down the rabbit hole and I never looked back. I knew in my heart of hearts that the gov't was completely corrupt never mind who tried in good faith to get in there and change it. These documentaries only stirred my mind up more.

In any case... I attended the landmark forum that summer which I also found about through F and then I attended the advanced course.. thinking full well this would be the vehicle I needed to get rid of some baggage which it did.. and would likely open me up to getting back into a medical practice. It not only did not do that.. It sent me on my journey to LA! I was spurred on to follow that vision.. surprise surprise.

I went to Arizona for a couple months that fall.. and then in Jan I attended a 2nd Adult Entertainment Expo in Vegas (AEE) and made more friends in the industry.. and well you know that story from a week ago.

While I was in LA... S kept sending me wonderful emails keeping in touch with me and inviting me to visit them in Montreal. I kept them at arms length until I finally gave up and just outed myself to her in an email. Because they were so spiritual in nature I thought they might be 'religious as well' in nature as some are and find what I was doing to be 'sinful'.. you really never know who is going to find what you do hilarious and intriguing and who is going to spurn you. Thankfully they were of the former category. She told me it was awesome I was 'off the grid' already in my thinking and financial earnings.

I was relieved and when I got back to Toronto I reconnected with them. They were visiting other friends in Toronto and we met for lunch whereupon I told them I was ready to go ''offshore'' in my banking. They replied with ''we are so far beyond that now'' and I started attending more seminars. Now.. I know this may be intriguing to many of you reading this.. but other than finding your own rabbit hole through the groups/links/videos on my old blog about politics I really can't help you. I value my privacy too much to let you know when and where these meetings are hosted but you can find your own if you open yourself up and educate yourself..

brasschecktv.com is a great resource but find blogs/forums etc and the universe will provide for you. It did me :)

The law of attraction really works... read up on it.. fill yourself with it and grow from there. There is so much more to life than meets the eye. Look deeper.

kissing and bbbj - uh.. nope.. not here! usually...

I just had an email from a client asking about kissing and expressed surprise that I don't allow it..

This prompted me to finally write on why...

yes.. I know.. in this day of GFE phenomenon kissing is often expected. Nothing personal. I have been in the business for 20 years and when stds are rampant as they are in the general population the only risky activity I engage in is unprotected oral on me :)

It's not that I find kissing to be higher risk for STD's but it is for catching colds etc. which I try to limit my exposure to as my immune system is fussier than most.

Also! I find it immensely intimate and personal.. which is why I know many clients want it.. but MY clients respect that it's a boundary I prefer to keep to myself.. same as BBBJ.

I actually don't get why clients expect a girl to promise such an intimate act as kissing to a complete stranger... but they do. The internet has pressured girls to push their boundaries to meet the clients demands.. as many like to gloat. "It's a buyers market"

Thankfully my clients are happy to respect my boundaries and I don't need to get hammered or stoned to loosen up. Heck if I got wasted enough I might start offering anal too! ha ha.. some of you WISH!

Anyway.. as I said nothing personal. I like to decide when and if I'm comfortable enough or attracted enough to a client who becomes more like a date.. it happens but it's rare enough as you can imagine. I find kissing to be delightful!

But seriously.. I question girls who offer it willy nilly to everyone. I mean don't you have to be attracted to someone to want to kiss them? I have good friends in the business who do and most enjoy it.. but they also have clients who have such unpleasant kissing skills or bad hygeine that afterwards they have to find a method by which to ''cleanse the palate'' so to speak.

Another girlfriend of mine says... hey.. if you're looking for a menu.. 'I'm not a pizza'. In my opinion one should let things unfold chemistry wise and sexually during a seduction and ''see what happens".

On the other hand I'm happy to provide certain menu items.. MSOG.. no problem for me. Role play of mom/step-mom/teacher etc. I'm comfortable with that. Titfuck and pearl necklace.. you got it! Filming our encounter..yup! for an extra fee of course.. now.. how many girls offer filming? Unfortunately that isn't as much of a request as kissing and BBBJ... and I honestly wish I were more comfortable with that. I would have a lot more business!

I also don't do BBBJ which seems to be even more of a requirement for the ''buyers market'' and of course if I ended up loosing more and more clientelle because of this ''buyers market'' I'd have to adjust and loosen up my boundaries. I would adapt.. but thankfully I make a very comfortable living with those clients who either respect my boundaries or have well seduced me to a point where I can't help but ravish their mouths with my tongue.

Kissing is a very personal intimate as is BBBJ for me at least. Why isn't receiving oral? Same reason it isn't to men. Lots of guys would receive a blowjob from someone they would never kiss. Kissing involves often another intimate action..looking into another's eyes (something when attracted to a person I find overpoweringly wonderful), as well as smelling a person.. note: I prefer no cologne and to smell the person's clean natural scent (well hopefully clean).

Hey.. I love men.. but I'm extremely selective... and if I've chosen to stick my tongue in your mouth assume I would under other circumstances either have tried to make out with you in high school or ask you out on a date if you weren't already married.

My clients don't kiss and tell... that I kiss.. but I guess it's about time I do. Yes.. there are some clients I kiss but you can bet that if you're a smoker I won't.. if I'm only attracted to you in a minor way it won't happen.. it has to be a case of ''schwing!!!'' and it's rare.. so please don't be offended and don't hold your breath...

but if you're one of those clients who is holding out hope and voices it during our encounter and keeps pressuring me to kiss you or bbbj.. beware.. I will get through the appt holding you off with polite responses but likely never let you book me again.

I know you don't think you're being disrespectful. Charming as you think you may be you're really not.. you're pressuring to get what you want that isn't on my ''pizza menu''

I had a younger guy the other day ask me once about BBBJ.. but then didn't push it.. he had a lovely cock.. and I was tempted.. but then I thought about it.. he was obviously a busy hobbyiest and who knows how many girls he got this from.. SEE this is what goes through my mind. It's still a fairly high risk activity! I mean not as much as unprotected intercourse obviously.. but did some of you know how that boundary is now being pushed as well???? Most guys aren't stupid enough to broach that with me.. but I do know girls who are. Guys think with their little head too much.. and then after they've cum they let it run through their heads and panic about the risk they've just taken. YOU are having sex with everyone else he/she has had sex with. If she lets you fuck her without a condom in her mouth or pussy do you really think you're the only one???? seriously.. wake the fuck up.

Anyway.. this younger guy.. even though I know he gets BBBJ with other sps.. came back to see me again! You see... even though you might really enjoy kissing and BBBJ.. I give a pretty mean blowjob with a condom and I choose condoms that are very thin. I have after all had 20+ years of practice giving CBJ.. so I pretty fucking good at compensating for that rubber and you get to go home to whomever you are going home to knowing you just saw an sp.. who is as one ex-boyfriend put it.. 'pretty much wrapped up in plastic' so he felt safe being involved with me and that I wouldn't bring any std home to him! which by the way.. I never did.

FYI.. I get that not kissing someone you are making love to in your opinion is tough to get around.. and if that's a deal breaker you aren't guaranteed to have with me.. I know you'll find a lovely provider who does.. in fact I can easily recommend some friends that I know if you care aren't also high on something to do their job! It's just not guaranteed with me :)

If however you are confident that you and I will have such good chemistry that I would want to 'pounce on you' when you walk in the door. If you're 95% sure? book me! hey.. if you're wrong and I don't pounce.. wouldn't the sexual tension of wondering make up for the fact that I'm a paid companion? and not a cougar who picked you up in the bar?

I know it can be... I've felt that wonderful sexual tension with clients many times of the ''taboo'''of not being allowed to kiss. It's the same thing in a way as going on a date... getting to know someone and wondering if the other person is attracted enough to you to want to kiss you.. except that in this case you're already inside me wondering this instead of talking to me over a coffee/beer while we get to know one another. That's how it is from my perspective and I've gone on a lot of blind dates while this is obviously in the back of his mind or mine.. and sometimes it's a case of ''yea... not gonna happen'' while in others it's ''you're really nice and I'd like to set you up with a friend of mine'' (I've done that after one blind date about 8 years ago and they're now married 6 years!!!)

In other cases for the ones that hope I'll kiss them.. it's fantastic when we actually do.. for both of us... but just like on a date. You'll have to read the signals. feel the sexual tension which is absolutely delicious! and revel in it when I do kiss you..

but believe or not! as much as love kissing.. not everyone does and would be offended if I stuck my tongue down their throat. In 2 long term relationships I had boyfriends who didn't kiss.. I really missed it and frankly wouldn't ever do it again.. date someone who didn't like it.. but in both cases they made up for the lack of it in so many other ways by their attributes. Hope you feel the same way about our short term 1/2 hr or more long relationship.. but if not.. I completely understand... and I don't take it personally.

I've had some clients for years and the sexual tension of not kissing is probably as much of a delicious part of the encounter as it is for me. One thing I remember from reading Jenna Jameson's book is that when she was stripping.. part of the fantasy that kept men hooked was that she was unavailable to them. There are girls including myself who sometimes reveal too much of who they are (much like I'm doing in my blog as a matter of fact) that it ruins the fantasy. OH well... such is life.

I'm not looking for the ''right guy''

Thanks for the comments and support re: cheating. I was just rambling... and I've had some lovely relationships over the years.. but I'm not looking for the 'right guy'.

I have gone on a spiritual path in the last few years that has changed my focus from thinking finding an appropriate romantic relationship was the be all and end all.

I blame harlequin romance novels and fairytales for that belief as well as my mother's voice in my ear. What mother doesn't want all her kids to grow up, get happily married and provide her with some grandkids.. Mine is one of those..but other than my sister.. none of us has provided this for her. I know she's given up on me. She also wanted me to be a nurse like her and she was a fantastic nurse.. but it's just not for me although I did pose like one in a mag.. kind of freaked me out actually.. seeing myself in the old style nurses cap like my mom had when she graduated from nursing back in the 60's. I know she's given up on one of my brothers as well who is a confirmed bachelor.. but the other she's still holding out hope for :)

It's not to say I wouldn't be open to meeting someone like Annessa who is my best friend and co-conspirator in duos etc.. in a male form. I'm not a lesbian.. I need cock.. so someone like her in male form would be perfect in most ways.

It is to say that talking about cheating isn't the reason I'm not dating anyone.
The reason I'm not actively seeking a romantic relationship is two-fold. I'm happy living alone. I don't need a man to 'complete me'.

My spiritual journey is something I'll talk about again in a few days.. in the meantime something else is on my mind.

see the next post.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

pic from my lesbian flick Darling.

Sandy Bunz added me on facebook the other day. He was the director for my lesbian flick 'Darling' that I did with Skyler Morgan. Some of you local Ottawa and Toronto boys were lucky enough to meet Skyler when she came back with me from Florida. I met her at Girlz inc (that blog is way at the beginning). We ended up spending a ton of time together and bringing her back with me to Toronto where I lived at the time was when I introduced her to her first snow! When we drove to Ottawa we drove literally through a blizzard and the amount of snow we ended up having that winter here was frightening to her. She was afraid we would be snowed in and she wouldn't get out..lol. This little blond lovely (she's wearing a dark wig for this movie) was from Louisiana and had a cute southern accent.

Anyway.. she made Georgia her home and eventually went back.. but we hooked up again once I made it to LA and this was the only film we did. I still haven't received a copy of the movie. Sandy had promised both of us 100 copies for a reduced filming fee... but this was right around the time so many companies felt the pinch of free video sites popping up and right after releasing our vid he folded his company.

At least it was produced. The number of films I did that are unreleased is disheartening.. and people keep asking me when I'm doing more films. I'd love to shoot!!! but free downloads have literally killed the business.

Anyway.. Sandy had this photo of the 2 of us on his profile so I snagged it. If anyone has a copy of Darling please let me know.. I'd love to see it :)

Saturday, January 8, 2011

cheating

Cheating is whatever you and your significant other determine it to be.. for the most part anyway. I mean for some people kissing is cheating.. for swinging couples it may be only that. You can fuck whomever you want so long as I'm there.. or not. couples decide on the parameters before an event. Look up swinging if you're interested in soft vs hard swinging etc.

Cheating for me is fucking anyone other than me. Making out with.. etc would be cheating as well. I've only had one relationship where we hired a girl for a 3 some and we did it twice. That's not cheating. We set up the rules before hand. No kissing and no fucking. I just wanted to watch him get blown.

When I see couples.. I never initiate anything with the male partner unless the wife/girlfriend directs me to do so. I never have a problem and so far everyone I've seen has been extremely happy. The guys are thrilled to see their wives with another woman and watch her enjoy it! They're usually just happy to be able to watch. Any touching is a bonus. It's wonderful to watch a woman turn from a shy unsure nervous curious person to the 'director' of her own scene. Actually with one couple the woman made the man stay outside the room for 'her session'. He obviously found that hot so that was a cuckhold situation. I'm sure he was listening in on everything and got the play by play afterward.

I've had some pretty hot sessions with couples.. one was my first time seeing squirting up close. I probably mentioned this a while back in the blog but it bears repeating. I brought a strap-on which I really don't care for inside of me but I like fucking other people and putting on a show for them. This was no exception. I put it on her and had her stand in front of the mirror whereupon I got on my knees and sucked her cock. She loved it. Just goes to show you that sex is as they say 90% between the ears because obviously this was merely visual for her and not tactile. It was hot...

The way the session ended was even hotter however. She and I were doing 69 with her on top while she was getting fucked by her partner above my nose. When he pulled out of her she orgasmed all over my face! I was drenched. We all laughed when they realized what happened and they both came to lick it off my face. I later found out it was her first time squirting and she continues to squirt to this day. I'm not jealous. I have squirted a couple of times but with a ton of effort and oit was very uncomfortable fo rme..

I enjoy my regular orgasms very much and am of the school of thought that 'if it ain't broke. don't fix it' It would be a nice ability to squirt because guys are fascinated by it and it would put on a good show.. but I don't feel I'm missing out on anything.. plus it's less clean up :)

anyway.. back to cheating. I was cheated on by J. I was cheated on by T. In both cases it was very early on in the relationship and both were forgivable. Strange circumstances which I won't get into detail on. They both fell madly in love with me and I with them but because of what I do I think they were confused about the parameters. They were both very clear on the parameters after the cheating was exposed and in each case both were devastated at how hurt I was... it's not fucking worth it to hurt someone so much. We got over it.

My last serious relationship was about 3 years ago. He cheated on me with a t-girl which fucking blew my mind! I have fantasies about guys together and knew he was interested in experimenting with me... and I had been working on setting that very fantasy up with a guy I knew who was bi... so when he cheated on me I was astonished. I only had this bi guy to talk to about it because no-one else I knew was experienced with it. My guy didn't know if he was bi or not.. but when stressed apparently he was! Under stress it's amazing who we can turn into.. because he doesn't even think about it when he's not stressed..

At the time we dated he was broken up from a very dysfunctional relationship and thought he wanted sane and normal me.. but he wasn't done with the drama. I knew that experience in my life but was done with it.. I had had a drug addicted, gambler boyfriend who sent me through the wringer in 2002. I had a hard time extricating myself from that relationship so now easily recognized the symptoms/red flags in other men like him. M wasn't familiar yet with how this worked and his inner turmoil played havoc with him. I tried to get over it.. but the cheating was just a symptom. Over the next couple weeks I realized he was sabotaging the relationship in order to go back and finish his unfinished business with her.. which he did. They tried again and fucked it up of course.. and he's now doing the sane single thing...after about a year.. I was ready to talk to him about it.. we remain friendly.

People often ask me why I'm single.. assuming it's because of what I do. No way.. I've had several relationships over the 20+ years I've been in this business. I finally learned how to be happy single is all.. and I am. Yes. I get lonely sometimes.. but not sexually. I find if I have good friends which I do.. and now my puppies to keep me company I'm really content. Relationships are hard work. But if and when I'm ready to do it again I'll be way more selective in my men :)

I'm not saying cheating is the problem. I'm saying if I don't know exactly what I want in a partner.. the universe provides a mishmash of that uncertainty.

Starting incalls circa 1990

I don't recall exactly what year it was I started escorting.. but I think I was 24. I met and moved in with my first live in boyfriend during this time. He was 4 or 5 years younger than myself and worked at the agency as a booker. I met my first male escort at the agency who was a gorgeous very well built black guy.. and was surprised to see that he was a gay escort. I was pretty naive at the time as I've already exposed.

J was as I said a booker.. but I assumed since he was also a handsome guy that he was a male escort and therefore gay. Turns out I was wrong on both counts. We became friends and somehow he disclosed his sexual interest in me. (the details are fuzzy now). When I left the agency because I was fed up with how Alexis treated me it was also because J begged me to. I told him that if I was leaving he needed to get a square job as well. He agreed and promised to support me while I was in school but in the year we lived together we ended up on welfare for a few months and I started an envelope stuffing scam.

I was bright enough to figure out these things were scams when I replied to an ad but not sure how to run it.. but of course you spend 12.95 to get the details on how to run it. I wasn't proud of it.. but I was trying to 'go straight' for love. Surprisingly I made good money at it and was able to get off welfare. J wasn't seemingly able to keep a square job for very long because he would stay up very late and sleep in as a result. He may have had a sleep disorder but being sure that I could cure him ...after the year.. I knew I wasn't helping him at all.

He also promised me to quit smoking when we moved in together but that ended up being practically all we would fight about. So..after a year of living together in a very dysfunctional relationship I finally left him. I swore to myself I would never leave the business for a guy again. J and I both had issues with abusive fathers so we were drawn together by our codependency and unresolved fucked up beliefs on what love was all about. He was occasionally physically abusive in our fights but I was hearing 'I love you' and 'I'm sorry' afterward ... words I had never heard from my father until very recently in my life.

Foolish I know.. but at the time I thought that was the best I could do.. considering how much he 'loved me'... 'needed me' and 'couldn't live without me'. I thought he would kill himself if I left.. but eventually my lack of desire for him outgrew my fear of this happening and I sought counseling and eventually left.

I rented a room in a boarding house and connected back up with the agency to do outcalls.. and when I left this time I took 2 good regular clients info and kept seeing them. I made a connection with another girl at the agency who told me about doing incalls and with 2 other girlfriends of mine got a duplex with 2-2 bedroom apts on Davenport near Christie in Toronto. We had to climb several steps to get to this place so it was a bitch to move in and getting groceries was a major chore. ugh!

BUT! we had a birds eye view of a corner store with a payphone. We advertised in Now magazine and had guys call us from that payphone. I would see 2 or 3 guys in the evening after getting home from school.. if one of us was busy a guy would often book a roomate. We were all gorgeous young blonds at the time so the lucky guys had a choice :)

I was the only one who really took the job seriously though and all the other girls left the biz after a few months. I was 'hooked'.. pun intended.. and loved being a hooker.

During my time on Davenport I got my tattoo.. and met and fell in love with my first client. Awful.. he broke my fucking heart and I his.. he was married. We cried a lot! My escort friends watched and lamented over the months as I emotionally sent on a roller coaster. He and I kept in touch over the years and even foolishly ended up seeing one another once/year here and there. Each time we would say goodbye it was almost the same level of torture all over again...dumbasses that we were.

The girl who got us the place through her boyfriend in real estate told us after a few months he was flipping it.. so we looked for another place and ended up on Broadview near Pottery road. Yippee! near all the greek restaurants on the danforth and right across from dairy queen. I loved it there and spent 2 or 3 years there (again fuzzy memory). I had an amazing large balcony off my bedroom and sometimes would drag my mattress out on it and sleep there during the night. I had had the same lovely experience in my first student house 2nd year university. The amazing outdoors but not on the hard ground in a tent with a sleeping bag.

I met my longest term relationship while living in that house. He was not a client but had absolutely no problem with my job. I picked him up at the chicken deli while watching a band.. told him I thought he was handsome (had a few beer in my belly to embolden myself) and he asked me out for the next night. He actually thought it was cool that I was an escort and didn't realize his friends might not agree when he told them so I had a bit of work cut out for me winning them over.. well one friend not so much... his best friend ended up dating my best friend at the time who was also an escort! The 4 of us had a blast as we liked so many of the same things. We'd hit live bands playing at el mocambo, gasworks, horseshoe etc etc.. and watch beverly hills, melrose place and seinfeld on tv.

T and I were together 3 years living together and another 3 after we split up.. I know seems backward but certain ex boyfriends remain lovers. This one did but I wasn't emotionally prepared to handle it and after 3 years I made my first move to Ottawa.

My CFS and fibromyalgia were a real problem so I was exhausted and depressed a lot of the time. My glands were swollen, I got low grade fevers everyday and T had no clue how to help me or be supportive. I never looked sick on the outside so simple minded people like him and many others assumed I wasn't really sick. I learned to basically not talk about it and pretend I was fine. This doesn't work when you live with someone because you can't keep the facade up for very long.

I had tried a variety of antidepressants and most made me worse.. except for Wellbutrin! it was a miracle for me during this time (a year or more after my arrest and 3 years into my career in a square job)... and I quit my job.. found a suitable replacement and planned my move to Ottawa with the plan to buy another house and start my practice from home. Unfortunately for me after selling my house in Mississauga and moving etc etc the wellbutrin stopped working and I got worse. I don't recommend it but at the time medicine natural or otherwise offered me no other options. I had had my mercury fillings in my mouth removed in 2001 and had a bad relapse. I was physically and emotionally at my lowest as well as financially. As soon as I came out of the relapse I started escorting again!

During my absence from the industry the internet had become a wonderful playground so I searched escorts ottawa and found www.escorts-canada.com
I put up a free ad and started doing outcalls in Ottawa while staying with a friend. I had bought a house way too far out in the country so doing incalls wasn't feasible.

I contacted most of the girls on E-C to see if any were willing to rent out a room for incall and met a nice girl who I worked with for about 2 weeks before getting the fuck out of there. Nice as she was she turned out to be a crack head with a worse crack head boyfriend! At her suggestion I booked myself into the very seedy Concord motel and was amazed at how many guys were willing to see me there. There was a payphone at the pancake house beside it so I would have guys call me from there. Once I earned enough money I got an appt near the 417 and bronson. I eventually got rid of my house in the country :)

I met Shannon who was similar in work ethic and thank god not a crack head. We hung out a lot and share a bunch of clients by referring back and forth to one another as well as doing plenty of duos. During the early 2000's money was flowing in the high tech industry and horny guys with money and very little time were abundant. I had to turn clients away almost every day who all wanted the same time slots! Shannon left the biz about 5 years ago and guys still lament the fact :)

One of my favorite scenarios with Shannon in a duo was lying on my back licking my pussy while she was getting pounded doggie style. I could reach down with my long arms and feel her awesome titties bounce and watch both in front of me and in the mirror. Hot hot hot!!! She loved getting pounded and her tight big round ass was simply delightful..

Shannon introduced me to the world of swinging. She and her husband took me to a swingers club. I was super nervous but the people were so non-threatening and welcoming I eventually ended up in the sex room where couches were set up around the perimeter and mattresses were placed on the floor in the middle. Couples fucked on the couches and the 3 of us played on a mattress. Another couple joined us but the male partner of the couple tried to stick his cock in my mouth. uh. no.. I don't do bbbj.. but how would he know this... I just avoided it and played with my friends.

We did several other parties but at their home. I eventually tired of that scene however as I was pretty much always the main course. I never had a boyfriend during this time and when I did he wasn't into it.. and frankly neither was I. In my personal life I'm greedy. I want him all to myself :)

Yes.. I have a lot of sex. Yes.. I have a lot of experience.. but in my heart of hearts I'm a one man woman. I only had one boyfriend who was jealous of my work and that was the first one. The others all understood that my job was just a job. I might enjoy it like any other job I might have... but I left the job at the job.

Yes. I've fallen in love occasionally with a client and had relationships but never born out of cheating.. on my part at least. When I'm involved I'm with that person. I leave a relationship before ever venturing on the hunt for a new one. I realize many people are too spineless to do that but once you've been cheated on that should cure it.. I have. It sucks... but that's another story :p