Monday, May 31, 2010

venting --- yah i was due for one don't ya think?

Got into it with a guy on cerb.ca - he was looking to negotiate a snuggle date.. ie.. fondling, necking while watching a movie but not necessarily sex..
not with me mind you.. so we're clear. He was just putting it out there on an open thread. What's wrong with that you might ask?

He was hoping for a reduced rate for said activity because it's not as much work as say a massage appt. (who says? it is fun for the escort? how do you know.. )

I see right away he thinks it's more fun because he's so charming and witty... and just a generally great guy. He makes sure he gets this across in his post.

First I had replied as has other girls.. that social time is normally charged at a lesser rate.. BUT social time is outdoors.. not indoors where touching can occur... leading to naughty things. This in my opinion should be charged at the same rate.. my opinion only. hey. I can only speak for myself.

I personally don't offer lesser rates for my time as one girl pointed out later on "regardless if we play scrabble rather than have sex" :)

He responded with something about perhaps being charged an in between rate.. going from 75 bucks/hr up to 200/hr for such social time.

And then the joke.. that if it went into the bedroom you'd have to pay him. OH that joke is soooo funny. NOT!

I'm soooo sick of guys who think they're all that and a bag of chips that we'll swoon over them and see them for free/fall in love and they are richard gere (except for the rich and handsome part).

Anyway.. I call him on it. I say for him to joke about bedroom time that way makes his inquiry now less serious.

Responding to another male poster who says he's looking for a friend rather than an escort I agree with the caveat that he's trying to manipulate the ''friendship''.

Well I had posted this prior to going to nap with my pained tooth/pained brain.. and when I got up the shit had figuratively hit the fan.

He accused me of slander.. to clarify myself and that someone supposedly of my caliber showing their true colors.. yadda yadda yadda. It went on for paragraphs!

I responded with.. guess I hit a nerve eh? well I was more verbose than that.

He contacted the mod complaining about me demanding I be removed.. guess what.. he got removed.. well for 30 days.. I did get a slap on the wrist for having provoked him.. but seriously?

This is no better than trolling on the street asking girls who is the brokest which one could use some money since times are tight?

He eventually claimed before he got banned that he got responses quoting him for 2 1/2 hrs for 250-300 bucks. I'm sure he did..

It's certainly not up to me to tell girls they are worth more than that.. that's their choice. I was just offended that he did this on cerb.. a place that's supposed to be a haven/friendly warm respectful to girls in the industry place.

Anyway.. if you're curious to read the whole thing it's on cerb :) looking for an sp.. not what you think is the posting.

I won't post the link. I was in the right to out this guy and nip this kind of crap in the bud.. but I'll have to be more careful I guess how I do it. AS if girls in this industry aren't disrespected enough..

He had the gall to say.. in these recessionary times you could fill your calendar with such an appt for those who weren't very busy lately and he wanted to create a niche! OH and that it could become a regular thing.

I know.. I know.. many of you are thinking probably what he did.. she's over-reacting. I can't quite explain myself.. but it's a gut thing.

We get dufus guys texting us how good looking they are.. can they have a discount, what in the world are they thinking? We're not in this to date good looking guys. We're not in this to date.. well again I can only speak for myself but I hang out with other girls who are quite like minded so I know I'm not alone.

This is a business.. who in their right mind would walk into their hair dressers or fav restaurant and say.. hey I know we're in a recesssion.. would you like my company so much that I could get a discount? yup.. that explains it if you don't get it.

If the advertiser posts an ad with a discount (I would never do that personally but I've seen girls do it and frankly it looks desperate to me.. but hey if you're desperate you're desperate) that's one thing but asking girls to basically quote their best price so he can chose??? low low class!!!

rough day.. sore girlie

I woke up Sat morning with an inflamed gum. It was sore but I figured it could wait til monday to see a dentist. I had 3 appts during the day.. 1 for an hr, 1 for 1/2 hr and a 2 hr appt. I also managed to get to the Glebe during the afternoon for the famous garage sale and walk around.

Sunday however was another story. I managed to sleep with a bit of pain and discomfort.. I woke up in at least 50% more pain than the previous day and new I wouldn't make it til Monday. I was up at 8 am (early for me) and searched emergency dental clinics. Found one open at 9 am and called them at 9:10 after cancelling my trip to Montreal for my monthly freedom seminar.

He was a very sweet dentist. This is important in such a delicate area. He saw how inflamed it was and gave me a swab with that bubblegum flavoured numbing stuff.. (no idea what it is). Then he started clearing the infection. I winced and even cried tears of pain and started sobbing.. like a little kid.. I felt like one too! vulnerable and scared.

He said.. you need more freezing.. I said yup.. with what could be seen as a sad pout if it hadn't been for my mouth being pried open by the tools. so.. he injected my gum with novocaine. It immediately made my chest heave (ya you dirty minded guys get over it) and my breathing became laboured. I don't like to do recreational or pharmaceutical drugs as I don't react well to them. My friend later explained to me it's basically cocaine.. yikes. It definitely numbed the pain and my mouth though... so it was worth it.

I wasn't 100% sure I could get out of the chair when he was done. He suggested I need to get the wisdom teeth removed and I agreed.. so we made an appt for Friday. I made it home.. and took some advil and after fighting with my alertness finally gave in and went to sleep for a few hours.

Today.. I answered my phone and a client that I had seen about 3 years ago made an appt. I warned him I couldn't service him orally and he was determined to see me anyway.

oh yeah.. my allergies had been so bad as well that my left eye was sore and swollen so I looked quite a sight. he didn't care and we had a great reunion :)

the rest of my day was spent getting antiobiotics, clove oil (great for teething so thought I'd give it a try) and then getting groceries I could eat .. nothing with too much chewing. I got some more plants for the garden as well and other goodies for the house so I'm spent again.

Veggin'time... night all.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

discounts for good looking guys.... NOT!

Can't stand when guys text me or email me to ask if they get a discount for being good looking. They often add..lol.. like they are so cute and funny I should jump at the chance to see them for a discount or hey.. why not for free? get bent!!!!

Arrogance is the biggest turn off you could ever present me.. next to being rude &/or bargaining with me.. so lose/lose for you! I will tell you to go find someone else.

Granted it seems to happen lately with younger guys.. and I sigh.. they have their momma's tell them how cute and fantastic they are.. and they spread that cocky idiocy around. Older guys tend to mostly have become realistic that looks aren't the major thing we are interested in.. not even remotely. But then again some people never grow up and in their 40's and 50's still hear their mom's voice in their head telling them how great they are.. and they can't believe we don't think so too!

yeesh...

A variety of personalities

I spouted off on a discussion when an escort asked how to tell a client she didn't want to see him again..There are going to be a variety of personality types and lovemaking styles that just make you uncomfortable as an escort. I'm quite adept at reaching most people but there are a few I am not happy to service and will refuse to see again.. it happens however very rarely to me because as I get more mature and experienced in this business I generally am adept at refusing the client before he ever gets here if I feel we won't be compatible.

Here's what I wrote in the cerb.ca forum on the topic.

There are 4 types of ways of receiving data when communicating according to NLP (neurolinguistic programming), and therefore a variety of preferred types of communication. Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic and A-D auditory digital (data/information/science). When people first attempt to communicate with all of those to attract a mate they give off the best first impression but as they get to know one another better they relax and fall back to their dominant mode. You are not auditory.. at least on the phone. You may or may not be in person.. ie enjoy hearing naughty talk.

I'm primarily kinesthetic and I feel out a person through their voice on the phone. ie. I get a vibe. I can also get a vibe from seeing the person's photo and especially their smile which is why I find it important to not only see sexy photos on a website but also relaxed smiling photos! Too many of the girls have glamour photos but none smiling.. I filmed with Niki V about 5 years ago and was so pleasantly surprised by her winning smile when I met her in person. Not at all evident on her site.

I don't mesh at all with people who are A-D because they have no clue how to touch a person and can't carry on a conversation. Those people seem robotic to me. I do have a colleague who is like that and she's great for sharing information but we can't hang out and have a beer.

A person who calls who is only interested in information without any feeling will not make me connect so I will not respond appropriately. They might go away feeling nothing or feeling ignored... either way no loss on my part because the session would have likely zapped my energy anyway... confusing me as to how to please them.

Other times I have pleased them a lot but with no signals coming from them I have no idea until they thank me at the end of the session. I'm sure you've all had this experience. It has nothing whatsoever to do with your skill if you don't speak A-D

My best clients are kinesthetic and visual like me. They are excellent skilled lovers who can soak up my attributes visually and touch me in a way that I feel I'm being sculpted from scratch by god himself.

So.. before the internet.. we only had the phone. I used to do very well on voice ads because I have a sexy voice. My description was indeed what sold them as I booked appts with a mere 60 seconds over the phone. This can also conjure up a visual image to the visual client. Imagination is my most powerful ally both for the client and for me.

I hear ya mod on the horrible voice. Sometimes an accent can even turn me off if it's one I associate abrasiveness with. I can usually instantly hear if someone is a heavy smoker.. but none of that will deter me if they are respectful and appreciative.

I used to work a variety of customer service jobs over the phone and in person during my lifetime. When you work for someone else you have no choice but to accept the good and bad from everyone. As a provider however I have the freedom to refuse service in person or over the phone to anyone.

I don't think any of the girls in this thread are saying that we are bitchy to the callers we don't like. The initial poster was merely venting and I think now understands why this happens. It will give her and the rest of us more tolerance which is the best outcome from this discussion.

A DVD on how to explain better business practices for escorts? Possible but not very likely.. These same errors in business occur in every industry. Most restaurants fail that start up. Many retail stores have employees that don't seem to know what they're doing. Think of virtually any business you have dealings with and they all pretty much fall short.

Also..trying to explain certain things about nuances is virtually impossible. The main reason some escorts are in this business is for the freedom to run things the way they want. Some are in the biz because they are inept at working in the real world whereas the ones who stand out have soooo much experience in the real world it translates to this business as well and they are successful and popular.

There are so many girls who do a great job and you have way more choices than ever before so count your blessings instead of trying to help those who are bad at their job.

Like attracts like. The ones who are lousy at answering their phone will get clients who don't care. The 'tire kickers'' (got that from Christine) will continue to call around til they get the price/activity that sparks their interest and care little how the girl looks or sounds. Then will complain about it afterward. Well.. you get what you pay for.. and you who put little effort into research deserve to be disappointed.

Friday, May 28, 2010

some pics of the arboretum in bloom

The lilacs, peonies and columbine were in bloom as well as a few roses.. but I have to go back in a couple weeks to get good pics of the roses.. My folks were visiting for my birthday this week and this day inspired them to take me to Rona to get some plants for my own garden which they planted last night. It's a good start to my front yard embelishment :)
The licacs smelled great but I didn't take pics of them.. here are some of the peonies, columbine and the irises.. gorgeous colors!





Beating the heat!

We had a couple of hot days here this past week and my A/C isn't working properly yet in the new house.

I had to cool off in my new little kiddy pool :)

Monday, May 24, 2010

Happy Birthday to me! I'm 46 today :) yee ha!

no birthday suit pics today but here are some bikini shots!



Thursday, May 20, 2010

Girls night in with Soleil from winnipeg

Met Soleil from Winnipeg while she was touring in Ottawa last week. Erin hosted a party at her place near chinatown.

Angela and I went to pick Soleil up from her hotel and we went over to Erin's. Annessa and a few other girls made it over as well. Erin has a small but very cozy student style apartment and Angela commented that it felt like we were back in University.. it did!

Soleil and Eva hadn't really met any other girls in the industry so were extremely happy to be welcomed so openly. It is an awesome feeling finally finding kindred spirits when most of us have come from a background of keeping a very secretive lifestyle. Erin in particular is very open about what she does and educates those around her about sex (see the previous blog for her recent article).

Sorry no pics guys & girls as not all the girls attending this party show their faces online..

Soleil it turns out is half dutch which is probably why we ended up bonding so well. Friday night was a hoot but Angela and I begged off early (1 am..) while the other ladies partied into the morning and paid for it the next day!

I took Soleil out on Sunday to show her our beautiful city and then we hung out in my large backyard having a bbq and drinks with Angela Sunday afternoon.

So now I have a kindred spirit in Winnipeg who I will visit this summer. I've never been and have wanted to for some time.

Erin's article for newbies on sexlifecanada.com ! love it.

http://www.sexlifecanada.ca/ottawa/ottawa-sexlife-journal/tips-seeing-sex-workers

and FYI.. here's Erin herself.. if you want to ever book a duo with her and I.. she's got the same size bra as myself!

Seeing a Sex Worker: The Basics

It's Friday night, you've got no plans and you're feeling lonely/horny/bored or a combination of all three. Why not engage the services of a sex worker? But....but..aren't they just drug abusers who will steal my money? For the average human being, this is the prevailing view. It is a stereotype! Most sex workers are healthy, happy, friendly people who enjoy their jobs. Even if you do know that that is nothing more than a stereotype, finding the right sex worker for your needs can be daunting. One glance at the erotic service ads on Craigslist is enough to send one running for the hills. How can I find a sex worker who is legitimate professional and how can I ensure that I have a great time?

1. Do your research. There are a number of websites devoted to reviewing sex workers. These websites provide reviews written by clientele that describe their encounter, as well as forums for discussion, which include a section for ads that are considered bait and switch (when a sex worker or agency uses photos that are not their own). It covers all of Canada and there are subforums for specific Canadian cities. The sex workers themselves are often members and contribute to the boards. One such website is the Canadian Escort Recommendation Board (www.cerb.ca). Because CERB has fostered a friendly community (you cannot write bad reviews, if you have nothing positive to say, you are asked to not write), sex workers contribute to the boards in threads about sexual health, and preferences. This is where you will find out things like whether or not a provider sees disabled clients, or whether s/he offers a particular service.

2. Once you have decided on a service provider, you should thoroughly read her/his website. Most sex workers have booking procedures in place and many will not answer your emails if you do not follow the correct procedures. Additionally, any sex worker worth her/his salt will have screening measures in place. If you are not comfortable with her/his screening procedures, you should find someone else. Trying to avoid being screened raises huge red flags for the provider. Many service providers also verify your phone number. Again, if you are not comfortable with this, you should find someone else. These measures are in place for our safety, if you're not willing to give a little, neither are we. Any information you give us will never be used fraudulently and will never be given out. Just like you, we have families and friends and make discretion our business.

So you've finally decided, what now?

3. Know when and for how long you want to see your chosen provider when you book. Make sure that you've chosen a date and time within her/his availability. If you have questions that were not answered on her/his website, ask, but be polite and use common sense. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than receiving an email or a phone call from someone asking things like a) are your pictures real? b) are your breasts real? Etc. The most important thing I can tell you, never try to negotiate. A sex worker charges what the market will bear. It is not a negotiation. If you find the rates to be too pricey for your taste, you have two options: find someone else who is within your price range, or save your money. If you have any special needs that the provider should be aware of, please tell them. We are very open-minded, but we do not like surprises. Also, because we receive a large number of emails, many will not reply to messages asking questions that have already been answered on our website. This is why it pays to do your research.

During the Appointment

4. Make sure you shower prior to the appointment. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than poor hygiene. Some sex workers will make you shower once you're there, regardless. Usually they will join you for a sexy soap-up. It should go without saying, but do not see a sex worker if you have any STD's. If there is anything questionable about your bits, expect the provider to either refuse to see you or to severely restrict the menu. For example, if you have a strange rash on your genitals, the provider may refuse to perform oral sex (covered or not). Don't expect to be allowed to perform oral sex on the provider if you have cold sores. Sex workers practice safe sex, always, don't ever ask us to compromise our health. Additionally, sex workers will send you packing if you try to negotiate unsafe sex, i.e. barebacking. If a sex worker can be talked into this act, s/he is not a professional.

5.Relax! We are professionals and are used to dealing with nerves. Let us guide you and just enjoy the ride.

6.Make sure you provide the fee up front. An unsealed envelope is preferred. It makes many of us uncomfortable to have to ask for it. Make things easy for everyone, and just hand it to us once the appointment starts.

7.Keep an eye on the time. Most providers pride themselves on their unrushed services. We are not clock-watchers. Be respectful and don't go over your time. If you are nearing the end of your appointment and would like to extend, ask your provider if s/he has the time to do so. S/he may have other appointments or s/he may not. It is rude to assume and go over your time limit without asking. If you do happen to lose track of time and you go over, you should at least offer to pay for the extra time.

8.Be discreet and respect our personal boundaries. Don't ask personal questions or call all hours of the day/night. Respect that we are providing a service, and that we are not looking for boyfriends or girlfriends. You are not buying a person.

9.Don't play rescuer. Not all sex workers are trying to get out of the industry or are in need of help. Ask us if we need anything but remember that not everyone is looking for a Pretty Woman ending.

10.If a sex worker tells you that you might be a better fit with someone else, do not push the issue. Just because we offer sexual services for a fee doesn't mean that we have to see everyone who emails us. Many of us are able to screen for compatibility as well as safety. Respect his/her decision and move on to your next choice.

A little bit of research goes a long way. If you follow these steps, you will have a great time. Happy hunting!
Ottawa Sexlife Journal

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Moved into a new house!

This last move was not my choice. I loved where I was living.. but the owners wanted to sell and I didn't want to buy... so I moved. I'm no longer in westboro but the neighbourhood I moved into is so lovely and I'm happy to have had to move as it's a blessing in disguise. This house is much larger.. with several windows and a huge space for a rec-room in the basement as well as a giant backyard so I can sunbath and garden :) Now if they want to sell this house in a year or so.. I would definitely consider buying it!

I'm in the south east end of the city near Alta Vista. Of course I will be more specific when clients book an appt :)