Saturday, November 27, 2010

The day after... some more thoughts

So.. telling a drug addict/alchoholic or any other kind of addict that their behaviour is distasteful to you.. will bring you no good deeds. I'm still learning obviously.. but just writing about the MissJenna mishap made me feel better.. because believe me I wanted to bitchslap her to her face for her nastiness to me yesterday (not that I'm violent but it crossed my mind).

I haven't posted her texts from yesterday because that would be overkill in this case.. and no.. it's not because I'm classier than her.. I stooped to this tattle tale level in the first place because well.. I CAN! I'm human after all..and it was therapeutic for me to write about it. But in doing so I knew she'd eventually read about it and be angry and lash out at me as a result.

She's so spineless though that in yesterday's attack on me she could only text me whereas I called her to express my opinions back after each text she sent and only got her voicemail. Anyone who is in the right is willing to talk face to face.. only a spineless, lying cowardly thief hides behind text messages.

Unfortunately over the years of being an escort I've been stolen from several times by a variety of types of people..many times when I couldn't prove who it was or in several cases didn't even have a clue who it was. This was the first time a person was foolish enough to give me proof and unapologetically so.. so damn tootin' I took advantage of that.

It's not the value of the dresses.. it's completely the principal of the thing... and the violation of my trust and generosity. Believe me when I told her to leave my house.. I had no clue she was a thief as well as a coke-head with bad ideas or I would have checked her luggage and locked up my purse before giving her the boot.

The person who steals is normally an addict and the addiction has fucked their brains so much that they think it's normal behaviour or that the person who they steal from deserves it. She has obviously justified her impulsive reckless methods of contact with prospective clients whether responding to her ad or unsuspecting men trying to pick her up that she's only available for hire and justifies taking what she wants from me because in her words yesterday I'm a crusty old bitch.

Oh.. this one was funny! In one of her texts Miss Jenna said the booze must be getting to my brain. I must be an alcholic because I drink everyday so I'm the pot calling the kettle black... my girlfriends I told this to laughed their asses off.. Now don't get me wrong... I can drink as good as any guy my size but I certainly don't do it every night. In fact I often go weeks without drinking. I'm a social drinker only.

What she doesn't get is that doing coke is not the same as drinking wine or beer (which she does as well and pot as well)... nor is it or was it ever solely about her coke use.. it was about her BEHAVIOUR. Addiction always is! It affects the addict and those around them.

One who does a hard drug like coke has a drug problem. Period!(in my opinion)
Not everyone who drinks is an alcoholic. It isn't about how much you can drink or how's whether it interferes in your life.. and believe me if it did I'd have no trouble giving it up. Doubt you can say the same Jenna about booze, pot or coke!

We did go out a lot when Jenna was here because Sara was also staying with me at the time.. and it was sooooo much fun for all 4 of us to go out to Carrie-oke during those 2 1/2 weeks... and we did have a blast. And yes I drank each time we went out.. but I don't do drugs. I also don't need to drink to have a good time. Jenna admitted to me that she was too shy if she didn't do coke.. and I witnessed this. Shy? or just jonesing? I'm not knowledgeable about her/her specific addiction or addiction in general to know.

You know this isn't the first time I've encountered this type of attack but it has been quite a while.. and it threw me for a loop. Funny how when this happens they have the same lame attacks on me.. that I'm the one who needs counselling not them. Killing the messenger much? Don't like the truth? One thing I don't hide from.. is the truth. I can take it and dish it out. I try my best when I can to do it without being angry but disrespect me and I have trouble keeping my temper. So far.. actually so good.. considering how she got my blood boiling yesterday.

I have been very blessed in my life and especially since I moved back to Ottawa 1 1/2 years ago. I treasure the friends I have made here and the support I get from them.. and thankfully I was able to commiserate with Annessa right after this happened and then we headed out on the town for a long missed night of Carrie-oke! I hadn't been out for a night like this in a couple weeks since Halloween weekend I guess..

I sang a couple of my favorite rock tunes.. "What's up" by 4 non-blondes and Ozzy's "Mama I'm comin' home". Singing some loud rock tunes is a great way for me to get my ya-ya's out and Annessa and I along with a few other friends had a blast.

Next post.. new puppies!


Unknown said...

Hi, I'm a very big fan from the UK. I think you may be the best, earthiest mature at work and I, for one, salute you. With various parts of my body.
As to your situation here, I would like to make a point about chickens and eggs. So to speak.
I don't think drug usage makes people thieves and liars (although yes, addicts are guilty of both). Until other health problems emerged, I casually used coke. Since I am an early bird and tire out in the evening and generally don't like feeling tipsy. it used to straighten me out. I'm confident and well balanced and never needed much, nor did it make me more social. I suppose it did stop me from getting bored. And sex could be fun on it. Occasionally.
However, the individual you have encountered sounds like a classic Narcissistic Personality Disorder case. The point is, these types get into serious drug and booze abuse as they self-medicate their suppressed self loathing and low levels of emotional stability. But since their is no known treatment for low level psychopathy (and narcissists do not think they have ANY need to go to a doctor with their problem - they don't have one, right? They're perfect) that is all they have.
Not all NPD's are drug addicts. Not all drug addicts are NPD. But the lack of shame, the devaluing of you for withdrawing support, the aggression and lies? Sounds textbook to me, CM.
Read this and tell me what you're thinking...

All my best,

milfcarriemoon said...

I absolutely agree with you Robert.. couldn't have said it better!