Thursday, January 21, 2010

I cum like a man part II

So I'm at my monthly seminar in Montreal.. long story but it's one I attend with a small group of like minded people who believe in the same spiritual and political journey I do. I met the people who lead it through a guy I dated a couple years ago in Toronto. This guy brought me to a seminar on trusts.. which I was very interested in. I wanted to open an off-shore bank account and eventually contacted them again when I got back from my porn journey in L.A.

Since then I have stayed very good friends with this couple.. but not the guy I dated. However here's a story that ties back to him sexually. When we were dating we were also working together. He was giving a seminar at a real estate office. We got there early and at one point we were in the coffee room whereupon I got up on the small counter and enticed him to fuck me on the counter for a mere few minutes before we could hear people arriving for the seminar. (There was a buzzer they had to buzz before he could let them in). Counter sex is hot but almost getting caught sex is a super buzz!

After a team building outing at one of the senior VP's houses north of Toronto F and I attended I went into the hottub with the VP's wife and him as well as the team manager (D).. who at one point in all of our drunkness made a pass at me. It wasn't one I was happy about at the time and he later apologized and it was forgotten about. F was a bit of a fuddy duddy about hottubs and wasn't in it at the time.

Cut to..this past weekend in Montreal. D attended this particular meeting from Toronto to give a talk to us about Matrix V... awesome talk and I ordered the book immediately!!! More about that later I'm sure. He looked good and prior to giving his lecture I kept finding him staring at me when I would glance in that direction. It was good to see him.

On my way home as I drove for 2 hrs.. I was excited by all the new stuff I had learned and was energetic. A good regular of mine had called during the meeting hoping to meet for our usual time of 7 pm.. and since I was only leaving Montreal at 7 that wouldn't happen. I phoned him to see if 9 would be okay and it was. Keeping in mind that my vegan diet was a week old and I was also cutting down almost completely on alchohol as well.. I decided to relax with a glass of wine when I got home. My body was in pain from sitting on the hard chairs in the facility we meet so I hoped it would help.

B showed up and we went upstairs. He's a really old guy and can't get fully hard to have sex so I used to blow him to finish.. whereas in the last few sessions he's rather enjoyed sitting on my midriff and finishing himself off on my tits.. but first he likes to bring me to orgasm either watching me do it with a vibrator while he strokes my body/plays licks my tits.. or he licks me. This time and last time however he wanted to use the vibrator himself. That's tricky because it's hard and if you hold it the wrong way it hurts.. after all my pelvic bone is directly behind that soft sensitive flesh you guys like so much :)

Anyway... I don't cum because of someone's technique or because a client is beautiful. I cum from my own imagination and so long as you don't do anything to sway me from it like bite me, scratch me or miss my clit completely.. I will cum. So here's where my fantasy went to...

I was back in Toronto with F fucking me on the counter in that seminar room. D was there this time and he was stroking himself watching me while I kept asking him if he liked watching F fuck me. It was hot and I came very well... then while in the afterglow of this cum I imagined them both licking the cum off my pussy. I got hot again while I pictured D now fucking me back at the Montreal seminar room I had just come home from. I told my client B about this scenario I had just cum with while he got ready to get on top of me to finish himself off.

This will probably keep me going for a few more masturbation sessions and then wear out... lose it's passion.

So I imagine this is why guys like to vary up the porn they watch. eventually a scenario will lose it's punch.. could be once. Could be a week.. could be a year..

I do however go back to some scenarios.. and guess what. It's like the guy on the park bench last fall when I was in Montreal said to me. You are beautiful. I'm going to dream about you tonight. I'm going to kiss you. and I'm going to choose the place. I thought it was great! He was right.. I can't control who is going to sexually fantasize about me and neither can you. I love my fantasies because I can make you or whomever I want.. do whatever I want. They will never disappoint me. Making them do things they wouldn't normally do is the best. I can make you suck another guys' dick.. or even get ass fucked. And you have no say in the matter... and please don't now ask me what I'm thinking when you see me next. If I'm so inclined I will tell you. They are my private thoughts and they are all mine unless I chose to share :) I promise you I won't ask you either what you are thinking :p

I cum like a man

so.. alot on my mind sexually speaking. I still try to understand the psychology behind arousal.. behind the act itself and behind the reasons why I or those who have sex with me do it... and I'm sure I will never understand it all.. but I do have fun trying to figure it out.

I was watching a movie where the 2 lovers had their first kiss.. and of course the first kiss is so intoxicating.. and the following ones can be as well. I wondered to myself.. do animals have passion when they copulate? How much of it is a need, how much is a desire and how much is just instinctual?

How long does it take before lovers lose their passion for one another? In some cases it's as soon as that first case takes place. I mean.. I've had it happen where I was on a date or in one case I was in school and a guy I was friends with I had wanted to date for about 2 years.. but either one or the other of us was in a relationship. When it came time for us to finally hook up.. it was awful.. for me at least. What a disappointment.

In some cases it's years... others it's months or weeks.. but eventually.. almost always we lose our passion for someone. Or someone loses it for us. That's inevitably when a guy comes to see me :) His wife has lost her sexual desire either after having kids, after going through menopause.. or after getting married as so many jokes go.

Back to the kiss... I love to kiss. It's the first thing that spurred that intoxicating addiction to the desire to be turned on. My first kiss was at 19 yrs of age! I was in university.. I was drunk and I was at a toga party. I had been flirting with the guy over a few weeks with longing looks.. but had never had the guts to speak with him. When he spoke to me.. he had admitted noticing me and eventually when slow dancing we started making out. I laid hickeys all over that guys neck. He brought me back to his dorm room and the making out started getting more serious.. and I quickly jumped up and said I had to go.. poor guy... he thought we'd end up dating and said we had plenty of time for other stuff later on. He had no idea he had a virgin on his hands never mind a kissing virgin! I avoided him for the rest of the semester. I was disgusted with myself.. why I don't know... but I was ashamed. Ashamed perhaps of how much I had let go.. or that people saw me? I don't recall now.. it's so long ago.. BUT I did know I wanted to feel that again. A great kiss is the best way to make me wet.

That's my personal life of course. I know alot of girls are GFE - meaning french kissing and usually bareback oral.. but that's not me. I keep my personal life separate from work. Which is not to say that I don't get turned on in my work or that I don't like my clients. Certainly of course I can't possibly be human and be attracted to all my clients.. nor would I date them in real life. I have dated a few over the years but then the parameters are different of course. Occasionally I'm really attracted to someone beyond the sex and we develop a friendship and a relationship. Never however does this line get crossed with married clients (save one time when I was very new to escorting and I fell head over heels for a married man who shortly left his wife for me but eventually we parted ways and he's still with her to this day).

So.. why do I mention this? that kissing is important to me? Kissing allows me to be swept away in the moment.. to let go. to fall off the cliff and into the sexual bliss. I can't do that with clients? why? I have to be on my toes. Same reason I don't drink with clients.

I'm a professional. Would you drink at work? Even bartenders who are around liquor if they are professional don't drink. It's not a date.. quit trying to replicate a date. It's sex.

It can be passionate. It can be extremely pleasurable but it's not a date.

Just trying to set the stage for how I cum in an appointment. Btw.. I don't need to cum and in fact fucked for years with a ton of pleasure before I even knew what a clitoral orgasm even was! The euphoria I get from intercourse is not the same as an orgasm but it lasts way longer (depending on how good the fucking is and how long it can last) and is often better in many ways.. so I'm not disappointed that I don't cum unless I've been brought to the brink and don't make it over. Then I must finish it off myself if I can :)

Some clients ask me do I cum. Some ask me what I like.. stupid question in my opinion... b/c there is no recipe. Guys usually have a recipe so for them it seems logical. Lick my cock on the underside, stroke it this way, squeeze my nipples...stroke my balls, fuck in this position... etc etc etc.

I don't have a set scenario while you are going down on me (this of course applies to those who do and want me to cum before they can go on with their own pleasure). I do however have a few scenarios to visualize in my head which sometimes involve you.. and sometimes they don't. They are private.... however... here are a few I'm willing to share. recent ones...

2 of my girlfriends are kissing each other and stroking each others tits.. then.. I am stroking my cock (yes.. I have a cock in these visualizations) and ask them to come over and lick it for me.. detailing what to lick and how. Then I either cum on their face, on their tits.. or fuck their pussies.

What? I didn't mention I imagine having a cock? sorry but hope you're not so homophobic that when you're licking my pussy I imagine it's a cock.. but those who know me well enough are fine with it :)

You see.. a clit is really just a little tiny cock. I've studied anatomy and physiology.. and when a girl is made it's only because she got less of a hormone that would have morphed that clit into a full grown penis... so I indeed have true penis envy.

I wish I had a cock and could explode with that lovely white semen you guys are all so proud of and want all women to love and swallow or rub all over their tits/face.. that you can grow to a comparatively enormous size from that flacid state and play with or mark your territory with...

Plus.. and you may think I'm a nutcase... but frankly I don't care if you do.. because those who believe what I believe.. well we have that special club membership that provides us spiritual peace.. and those who don't probably don't care about spirituality so what I believe doesn't matter to them if they just wanna fuck :)

Plus... I believe I have been male in so many of my past lives that it's easier for me as well to remember cumming that way. and I swear my orgasms have become better.. stronger and more expressive since I just accepted this about myself. Cumming like a man works for me. It feels way more satisfying... and I've been doing this for a long time..

The other way I cum is from love. When I'm in a commited loving relationship.. I'm overwhelmed with that warm love feeling. Frankly I don't have that kind of time with a client... and guess what? I don't love you! pretty obvious huh?

There have a been a few clients I have felt that with... lust? love.. whathave you.. and I can cum from that but it's not advisable. I don't need to get imprinted and neither do you :)

I remember reading reviews somewhere where a client would say he had to stop seeing me because of those feelings... and I can relate. You are paying me to leave.. not to stay. Seeing a professional is so you don't get into an emotionally enticing affair and leave your wife.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

my trip to Jamaica

I went down south for a January getaway.. and my travelling companions pushed for jamaica so 2 out of 3 beat me out :) It was fine but frankly I wouldn't go there again. There are so many other places I'd prefer to go.. or even others I'd revisit. next on my list are probably Curacao (have relatives that grew up there as well as the other dutch west indies), Aruba, Costa Rica(been to both once but would go again in a heart beat), Panama, Peru, Ecuador (I especially want to visit an ecolodge there). Australia, New Zealand, go back to Europe, Dubai.. well you get the picture. I'm nowhere near done travelling!

The weather has been unseasonably cold in the southern US so it shouldn't be a shock that in Jamaica it rained most of our trip.. while others we met on our plane coming back had 7 full days of rain in Ochos Rios. I was in Trelawny.. about 1/2 hr from Montego Bay. I managed to get into the sun about 3 of the 7 days.. so I am indeed tanned :)

The entertainment was sorely lacking at this resort.. but I did get to do karaoke one night!
Someone explain to me why most of the wait staff here in Jamaica and in St. Lucia seem to be so miserable? I had the same experience in Ibiza last year but I was not at an all-inclusive. I want to drag them to Canada for a winter for just a few days in a blizzard and then I'm sure they would be smiling to be in perpetual sunshine.. or at least warmer weather.

The best part of this particular resort was the little island mere metres from the beach. There was a hammock and several beach chairs but no I indeed had to walk back to the main pool to get refreshments.. oh I could have used a cabana boy. Just kidding..I'm lazy but not that lazy :)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Liver and Gallbladder Miracle Cleanse

I read this book while on my trip to Jamaica. Amazing stuff... being a naturopath by previous education I know the importance of doing liver cleanse herbs but this book blew me away!
Here's the website of the author Andreas Moritz
Other interesting things aside from liver issues that I've adjusted in my life.. circadian rhythms.. ionized water, eating animal protein, caffeine..

Apparently the most restorative sleep is between 10 pm and midnight so my previously night owl schedule has been amended. I now go to bed or at least try to at 10 pm.
I have been alchohol, caffeine and animal protein free since leaving jamaica. I splurged on all 3 on my last day there.. and of course felt the worse for wear on my flight home and subsequent day of recuperation following but I think it almost made it more secure in my mind by doing so..

I've had oatmeal for breakfast with blueberries, brown rice/lentils/hummus/salsa etc for dinner the past couple days and no hunger whatsoever! I never seriously gave vegetarianism a 2nd thought.. thinking I'd always be a die-hard meat eater.. but this book clinched it for me. I've read Natural Cures they don't want you to know about that got me to start eating less red meat and get halal (organic and kosher killed) when possible but I had no clue that animal protein was responsible for so many of our modern western diseases.

I had done one liver flush last month but will continue to do more until my stones are all removed.. I will keep you posted and I'm quite certain my already youthful looks will improve so that I'll get even younger :P

Yesterday I picked up some vegan cookbooks from chapters.. so off I go to do some more shopping!
okay.. so I went shopping and on the way to my favorite health food store I almost got t-boned by a woman. Normally this type of experience would have sent my adrenaline through the roof and I would have been buzzing for some serious time afterwards with my blood pressure raised. I drove off after the initial shock at her lack of driving skills and realized I was experiencing only minor adrenaline.
Today on day 4 of my diet I'm spurred on to super healthy choices.. made my first green smoothie with spinach, parsley, cherry tomatoes, oat water (I'm in love with it), coconut water, raspberry juice, frozen mango and it's yummy. I have a vitamix blender but you can get the same one from jack Lalanne for 1/4 of the price.. I found out too late though and had purchased one when I was in Arizona which I of course left there.

Here are the pages from the liver cleanse if anyone wants to try it.. but I highly recommend reading the whole book first.