Thursday, May 20, 2010

Erin's article for newbies on ! love it.

and FYI.. here's Erin herself.. if you want to ever book a duo with her and I.. she's got the same size bra as myself!

Seeing a Sex Worker: The Basics

It's Friday night, you've got no plans and you're feeling lonely/horny/bored or a combination of all three. Why not engage the services of a sex worker? But....but..aren't they just drug abusers who will steal my money? For the average human being, this is the prevailing view. It is a stereotype! Most sex workers are healthy, happy, friendly people who enjoy their jobs. Even if you do know that that is nothing more than a stereotype, finding the right sex worker for your needs can be daunting. One glance at the erotic service ads on Craigslist is enough to send one running for the hills. How can I find a sex worker who is legitimate professional and how can I ensure that I have a great time?

1. Do your research. There are a number of websites devoted to reviewing sex workers. These websites provide reviews written by clientele that describe their encounter, as well as forums for discussion, which include a section for ads that are considered bait and switch (when a sex worker or agency uses photos that are not their own). It covers all of Canada and there are subforums for specific Canadian cities. The sex workers themselves are often members and contribute to the boards. One such website is the Canadian Escort Recommendation Board ( Because CERB has fostered a friendly community (you cannot write bad reviews, if you have nothing positive to say, you are asked to not write), sex workers contribute to the boards in threads about sexual health, and preferences. This is where you will find out things like whether or not a provider sees disabled clients, or whether s/he offers a particular service.

2. Once you have decided on a service provider, you should thoroughly read her/his website. Most sex workers have booking procedures in place and many will not answer your emails if you do not follow the correct procedures. Additionally, any sex worker worth her/his salt will have screening measures in place. If you are not comfortable with her/his screening procedures, you should find someone else. Trying to avoid being screened raises huge red flags for the provider. Many service providers also verify your phone number. Again, if you are not comfortable with this, you should find someone else. These measures are in place for our safety, if you're not willing to give a little, neither are we. Any information you give us will never be used fraudulently and will never be given out. Just like you, we have families and friends and make discretion our business.

So you've finally decided, what now?

3. Know when and for how long you want to see your chosen provider when you book. Make sure that you've chosen a date and time within her/his availability. If you have questions that were not answered on her/his website, ask, but be polite and use common sense. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than receiving an email or a phone call from someone asking things like a) are your pictures real? b) are your breasts real? Etc. The most important thing I can tell you, never try to negotiate. A sex worker charges what the market will bear. It is not a negotiation. If you find the rates to be too pricey for your taste, you have two options: find someone else who is within your price range, or save your money. If you have any special needs that the provider should be aware of, please tell them. We are very open-minded, but we do not like surprises. Also, because we receive a large number of emails, many will not reply to messages asking questions that have already been answered on our website. This is why it pays to do your research.

During the Appointment

4. Make sure you shower prior to the appointment. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than poor hygiene. Some sex workers will make you shower once you're there, regardless. Usually they will join you for a sexy soap-up. It should go without saying, but do not see a sex worker if you have any STD's. If there is anything questionable about your bits, expect the provider to either refuse to see you or to severely restrict the menu. For example, if you have a strange rash on your genitals, the provider may refuse to perform oral sex (covered or not). Don't expect to be allowed to perform oral sex on the provider if you have cold sores. Sex workers practice safe sex, always, don't ever ask us to compromise our health. Additionally, sex workers will send you packing if you try to negotiate unsafe sex, i.e. barebacking. If a sex worker can be talked into this act, s/he is not a professional.

5.Relax! We are professionals and are used to dealing with nerves. Let us guide you and just enjoy the ride.

6.Make sure you provide the fee up front. An unsealed envelope is preferred. It makes many of us uncomfortable to have to ask for it. Make things easy for everyone, and just hand it to us once the appointment starts.

7.Keep an eye on the time. Most providers pride themselves on their unrushed services. We are not clock-watchers. Be respectful and don't go over your time. If you are nearing the end of your appointment and would like to extend, ask your provider if s/he has the time to do so. S/he may have other appointments or s/he may not. It is rude to assume and go over your time limit without asking. If you do happen to lose track of time and you go over, you should at least offer to pay for the extra time.

8.Be discreet and respect our personal boundaries. Don't ask personal questions or call all hours of the day/night. Respect that we are providing a service, and that we are not looking for boyfriends or girlfriends. You are not buying a person.

9.Don't play rescuer. Not all sex workers are trying to get out of the industry or are in need of help. Ask us if we need anything but remember that not everyone is looking for a Pretty Woman ending.

10.If a sex worker tells you that you might be a better fit with someone else, do not push the issue. Just because we offer sexual services for a fee doesn't mean that we have to see everyone who emails us. Many of us are able to screen for compatibility as well as safety. Respect his/her decision and move on to your next choice.

A little bit of research goes a long way. If you follow these steps, you will have a great time. Happy hunting!
Ottawa Sexlife Journal

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