Saturday, January 8, 2011


Cheating is whatever you and your significant other determine it to be.. for the most part anyway. I mean for some people kissing is cheating.. for swinging couples it may be only that. You can fuck whomever you want so long as I'm there.. or not. couples decide on the parameters before an event. Look up swinging if you're interested in soft vs hard swinging etc.

Cheating for me is fucking anyone other than me. Making out with.. etc would be cheating as well. I've only had one relationship where we hired a girl for a 3 some and we did it twice. That's not cheating. We set up the rules before hand. No kissing and no fucking. I just wanted to watch him get blown.

When I see couples.. I never initiate anything with the male partner unless the wife/girlfriend directs me to do so. I never have a problem and so far everyone I've seen has been extremely happy. The guys are thrilled to see their wives with another woman and watch her enjoy it! They're usually just happy to be able to watch. Any touching is a bonus. It's wonderful to watch a woman turn from a shy unsure nervous curious person to the 'director' of her own scene. Actually with one couple the woman made the man stay outside the room for 'her session'. He obviously found that hot so that was a cuckhold situation. I'm sure he was listening in on everything and got the play by play afterward.

I've had some pretty hot sessions with couples.. one was my first time seeing squirting up close. I probably mentioned this a while back in the blog but it bears repeating. I brought a strap-on which I really don't care for inside of me but I like fucking other people and putting on a show for them. This was no exception. I put it on her and had her stand in front of the mirror whereupon I got on my knees and sucked her cock. She loved it. Just goes to show you that sex is as they say 90% between the ears because obviously this was merely visual for her and not tactile. It was hot...

The way the session ended was even hotter however. She and I were doing 69 with her on top while she was getting fucked by her partner above my nose. When he pulled out of her she orgasmed all over my face! I was drenched. We all laughed when they realized what happened and they both came to lick it off my face. I later found out it was her first time squirting and she continues to squirt to this day. I'm not jealous. I have squirted a couple of times but with a ton of effort and oit was very uncomfortable fo rme..

I enjoy my regular orgasms very much and am of the school of thought that 'if it ain't broke. don't fix it' It would be a nice ability to squirt because guys are fascinated by it and it would put on a good show.. but I don't feel I'm missing out on anything.. plus it's less clean up :)

anyway.. back to cheating. I was cheated on by J. I was cheated on by T. In both cases it was very early on in the relationship and both were forgivable. Strange circumstances which I won't get into detail on. They both fell madly in love with me and I with them but because of what I do I think they were confused about the parameters. They were both very clear on the parameters after the cheating was exposed and in each case both were devastated at how hurt I was... it's not fucking worth it to hurt someone so much. We got over it.

My last serious relationship was about 3 years ago. He cheated on me with a t-girl which fucking blew my mind! I have fantasies about guys together and knew he was interested in experimenting with me... and I had been working on setting that very fantasy up with a guy I knew who was bi... so when he cheated on me I was astonished. I only had this bi guy to talk to about it because no-one else I knew was experienced with it. My guy didn't know if he was bi or not.. but when stressed apparently he was! Under stress it's amazing who we can turn into.. because he doesn't even think about it when he's not stressed..

At the time we dated he was broken up from a very dysfunctional relationship and thought he wanted sane and normal me.. but he wasn't done with the drama. I knew that experience in my life but was done with it.. I had had a drug addicted, gambler boyfriend who sent me through the wringer in 2002. I had a hard time extricating myself from that relationship so now easily recognized the symptoms/red flags in other men like him. M wasn't familiar yet with how this worked and his inner turmoil played havoc with him. I tried to get over it.. but the cheating was just a symptom. Over the next couple weeks I realized he was sabotaging the relationship in order to go back and finish his unfinished business with her.. which he did. They tried again and fucked it up of course.. and he's now doing the sane single thing...after about a year.. I was ready to talk to him about it.. we remain friendly.

People often ask me why I'm single.. assuming it's because of what I do. No way.. I've had several relationships over the 20+ years I've been in this business. I finally learned how to be happy single is all.. and I am. Yes. I get lonely sometimes.. but not sexually. I find if I have good friends which I do.. and now my puppies to keep me company I'm really content. Relationships are hard work. But if and when I'm ready to do it again I'll be way more selective in my men :)

I'm not saying cheating is the problem. I'm saying if I don't know exactly what I want in a partner.. the universe provides a mishmash of that uncertainty.

1 comment:

Asto Cat said...

All the best to you. Maybe one day ur true love will come.